Balancing a career and a family means you have to make hard choices sometimes. You need to be okay with those choices and know they do not make you less of a mother or less of a lawyer.

What challenges have you experienced as you advanced in your career while balancing motherhood?

I began practicing law and having children at a time when women were still commonly considered to be the primary caregivers. In fact, a number of my women associate peers left their practices after having children. While my husband always has been an equal partner at home, as the mother, I still felt it was my responsibility to take care of our children. That meant getting up early, going to bed late, squeezing in work calls or writing briefs in between carpools, soccer games, doctor’s appointments—just generally burning the candle at both ends. As a lawyer, wife and mom, the pressure to be everything to everyone for me was very real.

What advice would you give to a woman who aspires to be a partner at a law firm and also wants to start a family?

Know that you can do it. I have four kids and a thriving practice, in addition to a leadership role in the firm. But balancing a career and a family means you have to make hard choices sometimes. You need to be okay with those choices and know they do not make you less of a mother or less of a lawyer. When I agree to be a part of a high-profile case that has me traveling all over the country, I am not saying to my family that I don’t care about them or they come second. Likewise, when I ask someone else to handle an important deposition or argument because I don’t want to miss a ballet recital or the last soccer game, I am not saying to the firm or my clients that my work is not important. Being okay with your choices and recognizing that they are not a sign of failure is so important.

Describe a time when work and parenthood collided. How did you manage it?

I was once scheduled to appear at a case management conference in a Maryland Circuit Court. These conferences are often fairly quick, but you have to wait to be called as the judge goes through the list. On this morning, my husband had already left for the day when my babysitter called in sick. I had no time to figure out an alternative plan, so I put my 6-month-old daughter in the car and drove to the courthouse. I walked in with her asleep in her car seat, scanned the seats and sat next to a woman who looked like a lawyer. Between cases, I looked at the woman, explained my situation and asked if she would watch my baby when my case was called. After much laughter, she graciously agreed, my case was called and my daughter slept the entire time!

Discuss one of your role models or mentors and how that person has impacted you.

My grandfather was a doctor who was raised in rural Maryland by farmer parents. He was the first person in his family to go to college and believed that education was the best gift you can give a child. He always told me I could be and do anything—the fact that I was a girl was irrelevant to him. To him, nothing was impossible.

Melissa Lesmes is a Litigation partner in Pillsbury's Washington, DC office. She serves as the local practice section leader for Litigation and as co-leader of the firm's Construction Counseling & Dispute Resolution practice. She has four children.